DragTalk: 10 misconceptions about drag queens

Over the past year, I've found myself answering questions and debunking misconceptions about drag queens. Constantly answering the same questions made me realize that I should write an article/post about the misconceptions I deal with on a regular basis. I started working on the post long ago and I happened to come across an article in The Huffington Post called 10 Myths About Drag Queens by Tom Bartolomei. Tom is married to a drag performer in Ohio and has a blog called Diary of a Drag Queen's Husband. There were some points in his article that resonated with me. We were of the same mind on some topics, so I asked his permission to refer to his article in my post. I am grateful that Tom and his partner (Vivian Von Brokenhymen) were extremely supportive and said yes to my request. You'll notice that we share some of the same points, but we do not address the same 10 misconceptions. To further improve the quality of this post, I took to Facebook and I asked fellow drag queens to write me telling me what misconceptions they have to deal with on a regular basis. The response was overwhelming and I'm thankful to the 27 queens that responded (in detail) with specifics in regards to this topic.

So, what are many of the misconceptions that I (and many other drag queens) deal with?

Here goes:

Me at LIPS (NYC)

1. "Drag queens want to be women"

This is often people's belief or perception, and it is often inaccurate. I think it's that many people don't realize (or they forget) that drag is an art form and an outlet for creative expression. While there are many different styles of drag and female impersonation (yes there is a difference), very few performers want to live their lives as women. A lot of drag exaggerates and sometimes parodies what we consider to be feminine or lady-like. Most women do not wear as much makeup, big wigs, over the top outfits, nor the high heels that drag queens do. Remember that the persona that you see on stage is just that, a "persona" or "character". Sometimes that character might be an impersonation of a celebrity, but it's still a character/role they are playing. Most performers I know are quite different from their stage characters. In fact lots of performers that I know are low key and some are even rather introverted and reclusive when not in drag. They are quite content being the men that they are.

The crew during my days working at Lucky Cheng's

2.  "All drag queens are gay."
While the majority of drag queens are gay, there are some of us queens who are straight. I know a good number of drag performers who are straight. Some of them have even been on the biggest drag stages possible; some of performed on the Las Vegas Strip as cast members in shows like Kenny Kerr's "Boylesque" and the legendary Frank Marino "A Night at La Cage". One successful queen I've known for years is married and has kids! You would think that this would be unusual and hard to explain to kids, but he puts it in very simple terms: I'm an actor and it just so happens that one of the main/major roles I play requires me to be a woman. This makes sense, because drag is an art form that requires one to assume a role and at the end of the night, he washes it all off, hangs up the costumes, wigs, and undergarments, and goes home to his family. It's quite unlikely that you'll see a queen at your local supermarket or Walmart (unless we're running in to pick up some nail glue on the way to a show!).

3. Off stage, drag queens are feminine sissies/ Drag queens are "less of a man."

A Q&A panel with other drag performers at Kingsborough Community College

This is one that I quickly debunked when my drag career began to take off. When I first began, you either knew me as a male or you knew me as a drag queen. Very few people got to know both aspects of me. When I would be out as a boy at shows or with some of my gay friends, I would hear people say things like "drag queens aren't "real men." After a while it bothered me to the point where I started telling people that I did drag and the assumption then became that since I'm such a masculine male that I couldn't possibly make a good looking queen. Many drag queens have the same interests as other men: sports, music, and other things that mainstream society consider "manly". In fact, I know a few queens that are very reputable contractors, athletes, businessmen, and can easily hold their own if some homophobic bigot comes and tries to insult them. It was quite a sight to see a queen absolutely destroy this "thug" who tried to attack her because she was "weak ass excuse for a man". No, I don't condone violence, but I think an important lesson was learned: just because a man is wearing a dress, that doesn't mean he's soft, weak, or any of those other things. In fact, I think it takes MORE of a man to feel secure enough in himself (gay, straight, bi, whatever...) to put on a dress and to put himself out there in front of the public for the sake of his artform/self expression.

Showing one of my Alma maters some love

4.  "Drag queens are not educated"/" Drag Queens do not have (nor are capable of having) professional lives."/ "Drag queens can't be productive citizens of society during the day."

This misconception/myth I find to be rather ridiculous. I wonder if people who say this think the same about people who perform in the circus or the people that play Disney characters at theme parks or Disney World (many of whom are trained professional actors and dancers). Some of the best drag queens I've personally enjoyed are highly educated. Many queens I know have gone to school, acquired degrees (and not all in theater and dance), and are very productive contributors to society. Now that I think about it, I know at least a dozen queens that have master's degrees and 6 (almost 7) who have PhD's. Why is this not known information right away? Because their education is not a part of their on-stage drag personas. Some professions of these queens include working in marketing, law, medicine, education, construction, museums, politics, and social work.

5. "Drag queens do drag because it's a sexual turn on."/ "Drag queens are into having sex while in drag"

Alli Monroe  getting ready for a show

While what you see on the stage is the final product of hours of hard work and preparation, there is nothing sexy (at all) about what is under the glamorous outfits you seen drag queens wearing. In fact, some queens are a walking Home Depot hardware store with all the stuff they wear to create a feminine illusion. While it may look sexy in pictures, I can tell you from personal experience, there's nothing sexy about being tucked, padded in 4 inches of foam, cinched, corseted in, duct taped, and in heels that make your feet hurt. This is not a sexual turn on for queens. It's a sacrifice they make for the sake of their art. And the idea of having sex in all of that stuff is crazy! If queens were to have sex in all of that gear, it would be the most uncomfortable and non-enjoyable sexual experience ever!

6. "Drag queens are shallow and only do drag for the money."

This one is so false that it is not even funny. Yes, some drag queens make a living from drag, but trust me when I tell you that the majority of drag queens I know have full-time jobs and invest more money in their drag than they make from doing drag. For most, drag is an extremely expensive hobby that they enjoy doing. Very few drag queens are lucky enough to make a living at it.

7. "All drag queens are bitchy."

I won't say that there aren't some drag queens who can be extremely bitchy, but let's stop and look at it from their perspective. They are wearing multiple pairs of tights and heels that were not made for their foot shape; some are corseted, and have their manhood tucked behind them. I think I would be a little on the bitchy side too. Add to that the fact that some people feel that they have the right to judge them and demand things from them. Then you have the guys (or drunk females- take notes bachlorette partygoers!) that want to come up to you and grab your boobs, touch your hair, or touch you all over. It's these things that bring the bitchy side of queens out. I've never seen a queen be bitchy to someone that approaches them respectfully and treats them cordially.  Being a drag queen is not easy and can cause some to be bitchy, but in reality, the majority of them are the nicest people. Most of them would give someone the shirt off their backs. (Just don't ask to borrow their eyeliner!)


8. "Drag queens are druggies and alcoholics."

This misconception is the result of the old saying "a few bad apples spoils the whole bunch." Now I have had the misfortune of working with a few girls who haven't had their sh*t together, but this generalization is unfair. I have heard stories of girls doing things before/after the show, but I can assure you that this is not the vast majority. Most queens are professional and work very hard to bring their art to the stage.


9. "Anyone can be a drag queen."/"Wearing a dress makes you a drag queen."

I (partially) blame this misconception on the success and mainstream visibility of RuPaul's Drag Race. People think that because they see these girls on TV, that it's something that's easy to do. Just because you put on a dress, that doesn't not mean you're a drag queen. Being a drag queen requires that you possess the ability to entertain a crowd, keep them engaged, and create an image. Getting on stage, telling jokes, doing lyp synch, or dancing doesn't make you a queen. The crowd has to feel your passion, energy, and commitment while you're on stage. This is what makes some performers so dull. They are painted for the back row, but they lack personality and are boring as hell! Being a queen takes a lot of work!

 (photo by Richard.Burrowes)

10. "All drag queens are alike."

This misconception doesn't even make sense, yet I hear it all the time. All you have to do is google "drag queen", look at previous seasons of Drag Race, look on Youtube for the various documentaries and tutorials, and you'll see that all drag queens ARE NOT a like. Some may be similar in performance style or look, but even then queens are different. 




So...there you have it. My top 10 misconceptions about drag queens. No matter the style, age, or experience of the queen you see, they deserve your respect. They deserve your respect as artists, performers, entertainers, and people in general. It takes a lot of courage, time, and effort to put together a look and to execute it on stage, so I hope that this blog post gives you more of a glimpse into our world and the things that we go through. That's it for now. Be well, and remember: Being beautiful is not just about what you wear.
-Sasha